Hungry March 13, 2009

Dearest,

It’s been only a couple days since I’ve come home, but already I’m letting go of my San Diego nightmare.  It’s hard to believe only three days ago I was packing up my apartment and kissing good-bye to a city that once had been so good to me.  Now, as far as I’m concerned, I imagined the whole thing.  Now, it is time to get real.

This morning I went to a placement agency to start finding work as a contract attorney.  When I signed in at security, I noticed the guest register was full of people going to the same exact place.  When I checked in at reception, I saw another young attorney already waiting for his own appointment.  He was about my age, perhaps younger, and he looked tense and perhaps a bit hostile.  I didn’t make conversation because there was nothing to say, but I’m not sure he would have been willing to chat, anyway.

When I left the agency I noticed a much older man sitting in the waiting area.  Maybe he was one of those folks who went to law school after a long career in something else, so maybe he needed the extra oomph with kicking off his professional career.  Or maybe, as I suspect, he was let go just like I was so he was hustling for work – just like I was.  Hard to tell.

In either case, it goes to show, it’s a cruel, cruel world out there.

Love,

The Snappy Dish

PS – Yes, I am aware we are living together again so I don’t need to write you.  The thing is, I still need to write you to keep things in order.  Even if I’m the only one reading, this project gives me a little escape.

Re: Thinking Outside the Box March 4, 2009

An internship with Madame O is fine, on one condition: I get invited to play basketball with Barry. And a state dinner would be nice too. I look snazzy in a tux, and I think I have a Looney Toons cummerbund somewhere.

-Captain

Country Music February 8, 2009

Dearest,

Of course you find yourself drawn to country music like a moth to the flame of Johnny’s “Ring of Fire.” Other than blues, perhaps, there is no other genre so well adapted to your current situation. After all, when you lose your job, who do you want on your side – the hard-traveled, whiskey whine and smokey bar ballads of Willie, Waylon and Merle? Or mindless fripperies from Britney, P!nk and Fall Out Boy? No contest, right?

Ever hear the old joke about what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your truck back, your dog back, your wife back, your job back… Conversely, what happens when you play a top-40 song backwards? I guess you get un-skeet skeet skeeted, then move from the walls to the windows. Doesn’t have the same gravitas, I think.

Yes, give me a good song about trucks, trains, prison, cowboys and Mama any day – especially on your imminent 2500-mile drive through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee and Virginia. Or you could listen to Coldplay, and probably arrive in DC with an unhealthy penchant for Gwyneth Paltrow movies and 19th century cavalry jackets. I loved “Bounce” and “Shallow Hal” as much as the next guy, but I’m very happy to hear that you’ve unleashed your inner redneck woman and gone country.

Love,

Your Boots ‘n’ Spurs Wearin’ Captain

Things ARE Looking Up February 6, 2009

Well. That was an interesting conversation we just had. I guess I’ll take the Supreme Court job, you can replace Kristol. See you soon.

-Captain

Filling Open Positions February 5, 2009

Dearest,

I’m weighing my career options, and I thought you might have good advice. I’m stuck between replacing Ginsburg on the Supreme Court or replacing Bill Kristol at the Times.

Obviously, they both have upsides. If I took the Times job, I’d be in such august company as Krugman, Friedman, and Bono.  That’s a vastly more fun group than the dour egg-heads in black. Plus, there’d be no Senatorial confirmation process, in which they ask if I would really invalidate child labor laws.

On the other hand, the SCOTUS gig is a lifetime appointment, and a little job security is a good thing in these trying times. It would also give me the opportunity to play practical jokes on Scalia. I’d begin by slowly filing down the legs on his chair, a little each day, so that he thinks he’s getting shorter. Then, when he can’t see over the bench and starts sitting on a booster seat or phonebook, I’ll start subbing in identical but ever-taller chairs until he’s so high off the ground his feet don’t touch the floor. After that, it’s on to whoopie cushions.

But I digress. What say you?

Love, Captain

Things are lookin’ up February 3, 2009

Captain,

I fixed my drill.

Love,
The Snappy Dish

Happy New Year January 26, 2009

Dearest,

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Chinese New Year. Here’s something for luck:

See, it’s just like APALSA dinner. Those were so much fun. Lot of food for 4 bucks. We got to socilaize with some really great people. Plus, I’d get compliments on my chop stick skills and peachy skin tone.

I wish I could be there to celebrate with you tonight. Guess we’ll just have to make it extra fun next year. Can’t wait.

Happy New Year,

Captain

So Good To See You January 21, 2009

Dearest,

It was so wonderful to see you this weekend. It was everything I hoped it would be. Most pleasing was how we fell into our usual rhythyms – cooking, errands, sharing meals, meeting friends. It was like we’d never been apart. This is a good sign. I can’t wait to do it again next month.

Love, Me

Biggest Loser Cookies January 12, 2009

Dearest,

So I was going through the pantry the other day, inventorying the ingredients. There’s so much stuff that’s leftover from your baking projects – chocolate chips, pine nuts, pecans, brown sugar, white chocolate chips, flour, coconut and more. I thought it would be a good idea to honor your influence on the kitchen with your own cookie recipe and simultaneously celebrate one of our favorite activities – eating dessert during The Biggest Loser. Here we go:

Ingredients:

3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon almond extract (vanilla extract is ok too)
1 large egg
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped pecans

In one bowl, sift together the flour, salt and baking soda.

In a separate bowl or stand mixer, cream together the brown sugar and butter until smooth. Add the egg, milk, and extract and mix in thoroughly. Gradually add the dry ingredients from the other bowl and mix. Finally, add the chocolate chips and pecans.

Once dough is fully mixed, cover the bowl and chill the dough for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, preheat the oven to 350.

Place spoonfuls of the dough onto cookie sheets lined with parchment paper or silicone pads. Recipe should yield 24 cookies.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until cookies are slightly browned around the edges (know your oven – the cookies could be done in as little as 9 minutes or as long as 15).

Remove the cookies and let cool on a baking rack. Dip them in milk and eat while watching Biggest Loser. Better yet, make them into ice cream sandwiches with your favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor, and then eat them during Biggest Loser.

Little Genius can’t stop eating these cookies, so they must be good.

Enjoy, can’t wait to see you Friday.

-Captain

Countdown to Captain Curried Apple Couscous January 10, 2009

Captain,

This time next week you will be with me in San Diego!!!

(Is it next week yet?)

To help me count down the days I am going to note something new and exciting everyday until you are here.  These can be all sorts of things: potential activities, bizarro encounters, tasty dishes.  Above is a picture of a curried apple couscous I got from 101 Cookbooks.  The recipe author says it feeds six but she obviously wasn’t feeding me when she made it.  I ate the entire thing myself.  It was delicious.

Can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait.

Love,

The Snappy Dish