Travel tips August 11, 2009

Lately, I have been grappling with a sense of entitlement.  I deserve this, I should get that, why does she get one and I don’t?  I would like to think this is new for me, but I am not so sure.  Neither am I proud of it, but I bet I am not the only law school graduate who’s found the start of my career a little anticlimactic.

I mention this because somehow it got into my head that I deserved, DEserved!!!, a nice vacation this year.  From some angles, there might be truth to that.  I never went anywhere fancy for spring break and I didn’t go on a six-month bender after I took the bar.  The last time I had an enjoyable vacation might have been 2004.  (Oahu and Kauai – and I totally recommend both.)

From other angles, however, I don’t really need a nice vacation.  I’ve had plenty of lovely weekends (Denver, Killington, Cape Cod, Sea Isle, and Houston), and I lived in San Diego, where everyday is a vacation.  Moreover, I have loans from here to eternity, I am earning substantially less than I was in BigLaw, and someday I would like to buy a house.  (And yes, for those of you who are wondering, somewhere in there I will have some kind of wedding.)  With these financial pressures, it is much harder for me to justify a vacation allowance in my budget.

Justify it I did, however, and I am glad about it.  At the moment, I am sitting in a hotel suite in Puerto Rico and contemplating whether I want to go to the pool or to the beach this afternoon.  (It is impossible not to be glad about that.)  In the grander scheme of things, however, I am glad I am here because it punctuates what has been, and might continue to be, a challenging year.  I have been granted a respite – a reset – so I can be ready for the challenges ahead.

More solicited advice June 18, 2009

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the last post, it’s that there’s plenty of advice to go around.

So here’s some more:

If you’re taking the California bar and you’re taking it on computer, take your laptop with you at lunch and upload your answers after the morning essays.  The proctor will tell you the bar examiners “recommend” you leave your laptop in the testing room, and most people do.  But I know of at least one applicant who left his computer in the test center, where there was no Internet, and then came back to a failed computer.  He immediately started handwriting the afternoon session, and he was able to finish that, but his essays from the morning…well, they’re in a better place now.  Had he uploaded his morning work during lunch, he wouldn’t have lost anything.  But he didn’t, so he received no credit for the morning and had to take the exam again in February. (Which he passed, by the way.)

But the point is, take your laptop with you during lunch.

My solicited advice June 16, 2009

The summer has begun, and that means only one thing: Bar/Bri.  As I have mentioned before, I am thankful everyday I do not have to do that again.  (At least, not unless I want to – and really, why would I want to?  But I digress.)  Taking the bar is a momentous event in a young attorney’s life – grueling, demanding, incessant.  Hundreds of thousands of law school tuition, three years of irrational law school exams, and who knows how many hours wasted away on facebook – it all comes down to the two or three days at the end of July when more than a few intellectual giants have met their match.  Some of my newly graduated friends have called me up and asked me for advice – they’re freaking out.

Here, then, is a compendium of what I have told them – some of it might even be helpful.

1.  Study.  Study hard.  Then stop.  There is a lot to be memorized, and the only way it will get done is if you put in the time.  That said, there is no way you’ll memorize everything – it simply is impossible.  Studying for the bar is not so much memorizing everything, but minimizing the possibility that you will encounter something you don’t know.  Of course, you want to minimize that possibility as much as possible, which is why you should be making flash cards and whipping them out when you have a spare moment.  But since you will not be able to memorize everything Bar/Bri throws at you, once you have reached your fill of studying for that day, put your Mini Review away and do something else.  Myself, I still managed to work out everyday – and even marginally train for a marathon – while I was studying.  Working out let me clear my head and perhaps even let what I’d studied that day to seep into my brain.  Without having that time away from the books, I doubt I would have had anything sink in.

On the other hand, some other things had to give.  Namely, I stopped cooking and doing laundry during the month of July.  Trader Joe became my personal chef and wash ‘n’ fold became my new best friend.  The Captain and I also “broke up” the last two weeks before the exam – we saw each other at Bar/Bri and that was it.  I had made up my schedule (run, study, eat/errands, study, eat, free time, sleep), and I stuck to it.

2.  Once you get closer to the exam, make a schedule and stick to it.  The rule of thumb when I was studying was that July 4 was when the s*&t went down, so I made a calendar for the last two weeks leading up to the exam, with each morning and afternoon allotted to a certain subject area.  Torts MBE in the morning, Con Law essay in the afternoon, etc.  The toughest part here was letting go of Torts when it was time to move on to Con Law because I would have unanswered questions.  No matter.  No matter how long I spent on Torts I always would have questions, and then I’d never get going on Con Law.  Having to rip yourself away from whatever you are studying is why it is imperative to utilize your allotted time as thoroughly and efficiently as you can.  Set a timer if you have to – that’s what I did.  It was much less tempting to cruise on over to jcrew.com when I saw my kitchen timer ticking down the seconds.

3.  The Bar/Bri paced schedule is helpful at the beginning.  I stuck to it for the most part except for the last several weeks before the exam when I made my own schedule.  Since I had followed the Bar/Bri schedule so well in the beginning, though, I had learned enough and felt confident enough to design my own plan.  The point is, there are many ways to pass a bar.  Bar/Bri had its schedule and I had mine, which borrowed heavily from Bar/Bri’s.  Whatever you choose to do, make sure you are covering as much as you can.  This is where honesty and self-awareness help.  If you can, at the end of the day, say that you have put in a solid day’s effort and wasted little time, then it is time to close the books and raise a pint.   If you cannot, however, then no beer for you until you can.

Real lawyer May 22, 2009

Earlier this week a secretary came into my office to ask me about my time sheets.  Still unsure about filling them out (it’s not like I have billable hours), I had avoided the matter altogether and let them go for several weeks.  After the secretary admonished me, good-naturedly, she added, “You’re a real lawyer now.”

It didn’t hurt at the time, but seeing as I am up at one in the morning, I can say now that it hurt.  I am a real lawyer.  I had my own time sheets, and I always filled them out.  My current employer, however, has never seen me that way.  They see me instead as a temporary attorney, a hired gun brought on to save on health insurance.  To them, I am a ghost of what a real attorney ought to be, and frankly, I can’t quite disagree.  When a new associate was hired last week I wanted to scream, “I am just like you!  I was an Associate, too!”  But there was no way for me to say that, no way for me to beg him not to look at me as if I had done something horribly wrong.

At first I didn’t want to mention the divide between “real” attorneys and “contract” attorneys, but then it was thrust upon me.  I bring it up now because I know I am not the only one mourning a lost future.  Say what you will about Above the Law‘s “Notes from the Breadline,” but when she wrote about finding a stack of her old business cards, I was right there in the room with her, remembering how the print of my cards used to feel under my fingers.  It was raised, slightly embossed.  And wonderfully exhilarating.  Because I was a real lawyer.

Self-help May 18, 2009

This American Life recently rebroadcast a piece in which a woman describes how her Iranian father sought guidance from that most American of genres: the self-help book.  She’s horrified to admit it, but Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus changed her father’s life and saved her parents’ marriage.

Lately I’ve been engaging in some self-help of my own, and the subtle manner in which it has crept up on me is both unnerving and reassuring.  Unnerving because, oy, who wants to admit she’s been relying on self-help?  Comforting because, well, there’s a reason why they call it self-help: it’s helpful.  So despite my hipster embarrassment, I confess I have been listening to both J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Commencement Address at Harvard and Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture.

I know, I know.  It’s so saccharine I’m ashamed of myself.  But hey, I’ve always been of the mind that if you’re going to do something, you have to do it right.  And there’s little out there that is more motivational than reminders to cultivate your imagination and to bust through brick walls.

Plus, it’s cheaper than drugs.

Which way? April 29, 2009

Lately I’ve been thinking about Having Direction, more specifically, if I have any.  I look at my sister who’s thought years in advance and planned her law school curriculum accordingly.  Me, I just took courses I thought would be fun.  My Captain is another strategic thinker; he’s discerned his end goal and worked backwards from there to figure out what’s next.  Me, I don’t even have an end goal.  I just don’t want to be homeless.

Then again, that’s not entirely true.  I do have goals other than avoiding life on the street.  My ambition, though, is understood less in terms of accomplishment and more in terms of…well, whatever it is you call a drive to live honorably, to do good works, to raise a good family (eventually), and…to serve God.  (Yeah, I went there.  Whatever.  This is my blog.)  For this kind of ambition I blame my home church, to which I am deeply attached and for which I am forever grateful.  My mentors at church intervened early on; they knew we Princetonian kids would be swept swiftly into the achievement race so they introduced to us the idea of vocation.  Not career, which we are compelled to do, but vocation, which we are called to do.

And it totally worked.  During college and through most of my dark period (ages 21 – 25), I had no idea what I wanted to do because I was trying so hard to hear a call.  Problem is, I have this habit of trying too hard; I never could find the answer.  When I finally landed in law school I knew I had at least gotten one thing right, so strong was my sense of belonging and commitment.  I didn’t know what I would do with my law degree, but I knew I at least had to get a law degree.  And even though it now might seem that law school was a dumb idea, I categorically maintain it was not because it challenged me, it frightened me, and it made me better.  (It also brought me my Captain, which certainly helped.)  So even though I am thoroughly embarrassed about my BigLaw expulsion, I am also old enough to know that the mysteries of life are not immediately revealed.  Perhaps the point is not to think too hard or to force myself into a role, but to be more open to the possibility that something transcendent is coming.

Well – updated April 26, 2009

So, uh, working full-time really does put a damper on the blogging, doesn’t it?

Or, perhaps, “working full-time while looking for other work and spending time with my loved ones” really does put a damper on the blogging. (Much better.)

It’s been a busy few weeks, and every time I’ve noted a good idea for blogging I’ve not been able to sit down and write about it. Trouble is, now that I have the time, I don’t have the notes. (I should probably get that fixed.) For now, though, some brief observations on the life of a “working” lawyer.

1. Contract jobs can be very misleading, especially if the firm where you’re working sets you up with an office and a nameplate. I’ve mentioned this before, but I still have this sense of false security that I’ll be able to hold on to my current position for as long as I want. No no no no no, I tell myself. Going to work everyday, getting free Friday breakfasts…they’re so seductive. It’s a continual mental struggle to remind myself that what I see is not what really is. Sometimes my brain hurts.

2. The view from my office is another office building filled with its own worker bees. The distance is short enough that I can see into others’ offices and make out what the people are wearing. The proximity can be unsettling; am I supposed to wave hello to these people when I see them everyday? In San Diego my office looked out on the harbor; the only people I saw were the happy vacationers waving at me from the cruise ships. I didn’t wave back.

UPDATE: If I can see what the people across the street are wearing, can they see me when I dance in my chair to the music of my iPod? Oh, I hope so.

3. Employment is a big damper on my leisurely lifestyle. I’m thrilled to be working, of course, but no more spontaneous trips to the mall museum/library/other place of erudition for me. <sigh> It’s just as well.

Addition to the Blogroll April 14, 2009

Well, will you look at this.

My friend Joe has decided to start his own personal injury law firm…after leaving a nice cushy job at a firm where they weren’t even worried about layoffs.  Rather than fall victim to what my friend Scushman calls a vicious pyramid scheme (i.e., BigLaw) Joe took his many years as a claims adjuster to pursue what he believes is the most meaningful form of his work.  His decision takes great courage and great integrity – myself, I kinda liked the vicious pyramid scheme – so I salute you, Attorney Joe.  I look forward to watching you succeed and being proud of my friend.

Now that’s BC lawyering.

What’s a To-Do List? April 13, 2009

There was no one this kitten wanted to miss,
So he made – and checked twice – a Hug To-Do list.

“What’s a To-Do List?” piped up the Captain, doing his best impression of a curious three year-old.  I was reading from a book my sister had given me, and suddenly I was doing my best impression of a stymied parent.  What is a To-Do List?  How do you explain it without using the words “do” or “list”?

To-do lists have been on my mind lately because I’ve been reading another fantastic book, this one by a former Army Captain about his transformation from a boy into a soldier.  And not just any soldier.  Nope, this guy had a little extra oomph: West Point salutatorian, Rhodes Scholar, Airborne Ranger, Bronze Star.  (I should add that my Captain also has a Bronze Star.  And he’s airborne-qualified.  Plus he fixed the garbage disposal tonight so I am officially in love for the 49259th time.  But back to what I was saying…)

All that extra oomph makes me want to throw in the towel.  Which sometimes I’m ready to do.  Just yesterday I realized that my current gig, as great as it is, is not the best opportunity for growth.  I could argue that my everyday work is no different from any First-year Associate’s, but mine lacks a firm’s imprimatur.  I am a hired gun, so I have no natural – or even assumed! – route of  progression.  I could quite possibly stay in my holding pattern forever.  When this occurred to me I freaked out and wondered how I could take control of my career again.   I fretted about how I would convince a firm that I would, in fact, make them a lot of money excel and succeed in their practice after being an Associate for only one month and a Contract Attorney for however many more.

That I could get stuck in my position is terribly worrisome.  Our Hero above had accomplished all of those feats by age twenty-four, and since I’m only halfway done with the book, I’m just waiting to be walloped by what he’s done between twenty-four and thirty-one, how old he is today.  If I weren’t (almost) his age I probably wouldn’t feel half as bad, but I am so I do.  He obviously was a lot more committed to his To-Do Lists than I.

Back to work.

Something zany April 6, 2009

It’s been a little over a week since I started my contract gig, and I’ve enjoyed my return to the working world.  Every morning I log in, and every evening I log out.  It’s nice.

But it’s temporary, so still I crawl on my odyssey of employment.  There’s been some movement on my inquiry at the Commerce Department, and today I got word that the Office of Personnel Management did, in fact, receive that fat envelope I sent them five weeks ago.  Nearly two months into the Quest, however, I wonder if I should shake things up a bit.  The Department of Agriculture announced today an Attorney position at one of its food safety divisions, and I’ve already drafted my cover letter.   I wonder, though, if I should add just a little bit more about how much I love food, how much I care about its origins…and how much I revel in the splendor of a good chili dog.