Somewhere around my mid-twenties it occurred to me: I no longer was riding in the fast lane. I had insisted upon working between college and law school, but I took so much time finding myself that by the time I matriculated, there were those who were younger than I who had already graduated and earned their first bonuses.
Those Dark Years (2001 – 2005) were not for nought, however, as I discovered Several Important Things About Life, all of which confirmed that I was right for law school and it for me. The confidence and assurance I had that I was in the right place never wavered, even with the many, many periods of disappointment with my academic results (read: all of 1L year). Lackluster grades notwithstanding, I was still going to be a lawyer – and a good one.
I bring this up because one of my good friends from Papa Law once asked me whether I was ready to become a “lawyer.” Absolutely! I replied, saying more or less the same things I mention above. He was thoughtful for a moment and said he still was getting used to the idea of being a professional upon whom others relied for critical advice, a fiduciary. His hesitation surprised me because, as I reminded him, he already was a father – with two children under the age of two. Being a parent seemed so much more challenging, demanding, and stressful than any profession I could imagine. He considered that, but then responded that his wife had really wanted to become a parent, so there really wasn’t much debate on starting a family. They got married, they had kids, and then they took their kids to law school.
I suppose that makes sense, given my friend’s priorities in life. He and his wife really wanted a family, so they planned their careers around that. Other friends of mine really want to get ahead in their careers, so they plan their families (or singledom) around that. I have a pal who is so focused on her career that she seems to experience dating as an amusing, but occasional, distraction. Myself, I don’t think I’ve ever really wanted anything so badly that I planned for it to the exclusion of other pursuits. To wit, I found a career and a husband in law school – I multitasked. Which is not to say I attended law school to find a husband, but I certainly was open to the idea.
And perhaps that’s the point – being open to ideas. My bridal magazines feature brides in their early to mid-twenties who freak me out with their confidence in selecting a mate. Call me a late bloomer, but I just wasn’t ready to make such life-altering decisions at age twenty-three. I was still trying to figure it out for myself, and I suppose I still am. The difference now, I suppose, is that I’ve figured out enough to know that there’s more to life than speed.
I always feel like people who are married with a house and kids are older than me somehow, like they are farther along in life. It is becoming more common for them to be younger than me, especially here in the Midwest.
Even when you take things slow, it’s amazing to see how quickly time flies.